August 26th

Dear Family,

I want to start by letting you all know that this letter will not be as long as usual. The normal library we go to is closed today, and we're at one today that has a one hour limit, and I still have to write President. So, thank you all for your emails, I read them all, but don't have much time to respond.

I wanted to let you know about the temple. We were able to go on Friday as a companionship just to go. We saw the new video, and it was incredible!! So much made so muc more sense, and I felt like Heavenly Father really blessed me with a lot of insight and understading. The San Antonio temple is gorgeous, btw. It's not very big, but there is tons of beautiful stained glass throughout the building, and it just sparkles as you're sitting there thinking and feeling the spirit. It was so great to be in the house of the Lord and to be able to think in peace. We hardly wanted to leave.

But then the very next day we got to go again for the endowing and sealing of the G Family. What a choice experience!! We weren't sure we'd get in because the session was overbooked, but we got all green lights as we drove up Stone Oak Parkway, so we got there in time to get on the list, and there were enough spaces to get in. The whole Del Rio 3rd branch was there!! I felt like I was coming home!! So many people that I loved somuch in the temple. As we walked out of the lobby, there was Brother G, dressed all in white with a little pink ordinance tag pinned onto his shirt. He was beaming!! I only had time to shake his hand briefly before going to change. Waiting in line to get a name, Sister G came into the dressing room after her briefing with the temple matron. She saw me, ran over, engulfed me in a Mexican lady hug and just started to sob! "Thank you! Thank you! I love you, I miss you! Thank you so much for coming!" I cried a little bit too. We did the whole endowment session in Spanish (with the old video) and I understood the whole thing, although not quie well enough to really internalize it and get a lot of spiritual meaning from it. Brother G took Sister G through the veil, and we met them on the other side in the Celestial room. What a wonderful reunion. And the best is still to come! All of the 3rd ward packed into the sealing room and watched as the G's were sealed to each other. They were too short and plump to kiss over the altar without Sister G pusing up on her toes to reach.  :) We all made it through that part with dry eyes, but as soon as they brought the kids in, everyone melted. Sister G was crying, Brother G was crying, I was crying, the whole ward was crying, even Sister H who didn't know any of them was crying. It was so beautiful and such a sweet experience to be able to be there. Thinking about it after, I realized I have been there for a lot of firsts for the G family, especially Brother G. He gave his first talk, got his first calling, passed the Sacrament for the first time, bore his first testimony, conducted his first FHE, taught his first Sunday School lesson, wore his first tie to church, got the Melchizedek Preisthood, participated in his first confirmation, and is now endowed and sealed to his family for all eternity. Heavenly Father really is so wonderful to us, and he knew that I needed to have that experience to show me what I had been able to participate in during my time in Del Rio. It was so beautiful. If I don't have time today, I'll send pictures next week.

We're starting to find people, and I'm less exhausted than I was, both of which are good things. We only had one exchange this last week instead of two, and I think that really made a difference.

Also, I got the pictures you sent of Alan. What a stud!! I pulled them out to look at them last night, and I have to say I think I have the best looking brother on the continent. :)

Also, Lisa, I got the pictures of P and your wonderful letter and I drooled over them the whole night. I can't even tell you what a pick me up it is to get your letters and pictures every now and again. They always seem to come at exactly the right moments too when I'm feeling a little down and really need them. I'm going to try to write you this afternoon, but if I don't get the chance, know that I love you and I can't wait to come sleep on your couch next year!

I think those are the biggest highlights. 

I love you all so much!! Thank you for your prayers!

Have a wonderful week!

Love,

Emily

Aug 19th

Dear Family,

Guess who I found this week!?!? We got an address and a last name from Obispo G for a member move-in that he didn't know and asked us to go check up on them. So I went over this week while we were on exchanges and knock knock!! Who's there? Soledad!! I think we were both pretty happy to recognize a familiar face. My Spanish is a lot better than it used to be, but she was still really, really, really hard to understand. I had a flash back to sitting in the Beluga Bus and listening to Mom trying to teach her how to say "scarf." "Echarf?" "No, SCarf." "Eharf?" "We'll keep working on it."

Guess who else we found this week? Enough Sudanese and Iraqi refugees to start an Arabic branch. The same day that we met Soledad, Hna. M and I taught a first lesson in Arabic. Speak English, called in Spanish, teaching in Arabic. Here's how it went down. We knocked the door, it opened, the woman was brown, so I started in English. All I got was a stare, so I tried again in Spanish. More stares "Do you speak English? Espanol?" She looks at me for a minute, and then says, "Arabic." Well, that ain't the language they taught me in the MTC, so I whipped out a mormon.org card and typing in the air asked "computer?" "Oh!" she said, "laptop?" "Yeah! Laptop." So we got onto mormon.org, and checked out the languages section, but my favorite website in the whole world let me down. No Arabic. At this moment, we're sitting in her house, unable to communicate, unable to invite this woman to come unto Christ when all of a sudden, like manna in the wilderness, Heavenly Father sent us an interpreter. He's also an Iraqi refugee that lives across the hall named S. He interpreted for the US Army in Iraq for a while before coming to the US. It was a long, slow lesson, but after comparing Islam and Christianity for a while, we were finally able to get into the Restoration. Hna. Montgomery felt like we needed to share the First Vision, so we did, and while we were in the middle of quoting Joseph Smith, S asked "Is that a real story?" To which responded that yes, it was. "Well that's really weird, because in Islam, God doesn't come to people. He just sends angels." All things considered, it was a great lesson, and we got a return appointment for Saturday. Unfortunately because neither English nor Arabic is Spanish, we can't teach them and had to turn them over to the APs. But! We saw the APs at church on Sunday and they told us that S is an awesome investigator (F ended up uninterested) and he was at church with them. We also passed them another family that was at church, and we gave the sisters a referral that now has a baptismal date, and we gave the other sisters a family that they are teaching as well. We're thinking that maybe our purpose in Monte Vista isn't actually to teach anybody, just to give really awesome referrals to everyone else. I'm ok with that. It's all team Jesus. And eventually, the blessings will come back our way.

Yesterday, we were at the apartment complex where all of the refugees seem to live (we've also met people from Burma and Nepal), and one of the gentlemen from Iraq asked through an interpreter if we knew anyone that could teach him English. He can't work without English, and he's really motivated to learn. So, we told him that we're going to start a free class, and we'll tell him when it gets rolling. That's our project right now, is to get that going. And then when we do, eventually we'll pass all of our students over to the APs to be taught and baptized, and pretty soon, there will be an Arabic branch in San Antonio. My Spanish is a lot better now. Maybe they'll just reassign me to learn Arabic too! Or maybe, they'll make that apartment complex it's on mission and call a pair of Elders to the Texas, Nob Hill, Arabic speaking mission. :)

We're planning on going to the temple before the end of this transfer. Hna. L called me from Del Rio and said the G Family is planning to come up this Saturday to be endowed and sealed, and if that happens, we'll definitely be going. Unfortunately, they haven't translated the new video into Spanish, so it'll probably be the old one. I'm thinking I'll try to go again some time when I can see the new one. I've heard it's really good. And I need to go to the temple.

Mom, I'm feeling really pooped. I think I'm at an endure to the end stage. I've just been so tired, both physically, emotionally, spiritually, all around. Personal study the last few days hasn't been as rewarding as usual, I get grumpy super easily, and I'm experiencing all kinds of weird twinges and palpitations at random times and in random places. In fact, as we speak, there's a muscle spasing out below my left rib. Weird. I love what I'm doing, but I'm just wiped, and sometimes the thought of being here for another whole year without the hope of napping whenever I need to just seems a little bit overwhelming. But I'm trying to take it one day at a time, love my companion a little bit more, pray a little bit harder, and I'm trusting that I'll be able to snap out of it eventually.

The Lord is blessing us. We taught two member present lessons on Saturday, which is more than ever so far, and yesterday, we got an awesome referral from a guy in Utah. He came down here on business in April and gave a Book of Mormon to a hotel worker that looked like he needed it. Through this guy's son that served a Spanish speaking mission, they found out that the Hotel Worker had been reading the Book of Mormon every day since April. And we talked to him this morning on the phone. He's going out of town, but we're going to meet with him when he gets back. So cool!!

Some thoughts about food. I've been able to stay well within my budget eating the way that we do at home. Of course, I don't eat as much as a voracious 18 year old, but the budget hasn't been a problem for me. I usually eat cereal with a banana and soy/almond milk for breakfast or I'll make a smoothie or some oatmeal. Every now and then, I'll whip up some banana pancakes which are pretty easy to make. 1 banana, 1 c flour, about 1/2 t salt, about 1 t baking powder, a half spoonful of sugar, and water until it runs right. For lunch, sometimes I like to put a sweet potato into the oven at 400 while I do language study, and then it's done an hour later when it's lunch time. PB&Js are a good option, bagged salad, frozen veggies, canned beans. He could buy some minute brown rice and throw some black beans in a pot with onions, garlic powder and a little cumin, and voila! Rice and beans. Refried beans and tortillas with spinach and salsa works. He could even make oven fries and a hamburger. Often times, people give us food and we end up with left overs too. I like making other stuff too, but it involves a little more cooking.

I love you all. The gospel is true. Heavenly Father loves us so much and just wants to bless us. He just waits for us to ask because he doesn't want to take away our agency. Keep up the good work everyone!!

Emily

Transfer Day

August 5th, 2013

Dear Family,

As always, it's great to hear about yall's adventures. Mom, I was able to watch the video about Sister Brock and loved seeing some familiar sights, but there's no sound in the library, and we're not supposed to use headphones. As soon as I get a chance, I'll watch it with stereo. We've been sharing a lot of mormon.org cards and referring people to watch the videos, so now I'll have a specific one to reference.  J

A lot of our time this week was spent with the mundane tasks of opening an area. We finally got some boundaries set so that we don't end up proselyting in someone else's stake again (oops!), bought a map, divided our area into smaller bites, mapped out which members we cover, visited the mission office to get Spanish teaching supplies, called all of the English ward bishops, and took care of some STL stuff too, like coordinating exchanges for the rest of the transfer (two a week until the end!), calling district and zone leaders to get info about our sisters etc, etc. 

That being said, there were still some great moments to highlight. This week's focus is FAMILIES!! President Slaughter is all about finding and teaching families, which I love. That's really what we need in the church, and families that convert are more likely to stay active than single people that convert by themselves. The problem is, families are usually harder to teach, so sometimes, we shy away from finding and teaching them. President Slaughter was in the mission office the same time we were there getting supplies, and I realized as we talked to him for a few minutes that normally when we set goals for finding new investigators, I only plan for one or two. What family with a father and mother is made up of one person? I can't think of any. So this week, we've been setting our goal higher, with 3, 4 or 5 new investigators, trusting that Heavenly Father will help us find families.

So, one evening, we were at an apt complex to knock, but sitting in the car finishing a phone call. When I looked up, there was a family of four getting out of their car!! "Sister H!! It's our family!!" Papers flying, backpacks neglected, we tumbled out of our car and practically ran over to them. The contact turned into a QGC (quality gospel conversation) turned into a first lesson turned into two new investigators (their girls are both under 8). I'm not sure they'll get baptized or even turn into a second lesson (they've been ignoring our calls), but Heavenly Father helps us meet our goals when we have faith to find. 

In Mission Leadership Conference (MLC) this week (one of the perks of being an Sister Training Leader, or STL), we talked about blind spots and fathers. So what's a blind spot? Imagine you're picking raspberries. When you walk up to the bushes, there are usually one or two ripe ones visible, but not very many. In order to find the really good ones, you have to dig a little bit, turn over leaves, hunt around, and often times, the very best, ripest clumps of raspberries are hidden beneath the surface of leaves where they're not readily visible. Now imagine that you knock a door, talk to the mother of the house who is receptive to your message, and in your excitement to teach her a first lesson, don't think to invite her teenage kids into the room to come and listen or ask where her husband is and if he might be interested in the message too. So many times, we walk into a teaching situation and pick the "raspberries" that we can see off the top and then wonder why we don't have more investigators. These people have friends and families and connections. Every data point is a link to a million others, but if you never follow the links, you never find the other data points. Blind spots. And one of the usual victims of blind spots are fathers.

Think about this for a minute. Women generally tend to be more readily receptive to the gospel. But even if you baptize 10,000 women and no Melchizedek Priesthood holders, can you split the ward? Nope. Can those women be sealed in the temple and become an eternal family? Nope. Can they receive all of the promises of the Abrahamic Covenant which is our whole purpose for being here anyway? Nope, they can't. We need fathers. Fathers are the backbone of the church. Why does every worthy man hold the Priesthood? Because the family is the basic unit of the church, and without that Priesthood link, the family is not connected to the administering agent of the gospel. Families without fathers rarely last, whereas those that are led by fathers become converted. J G, again, is a prime example. When he was converted, the whole family came too. In contrast, many of the women we were teaching in Del Rio without their husbands didn't make it. Maria wouldn't get baptized, Kfell out of activity once she was. Whenever we go in to teach a family, we have to make sure we teach the father his divine role to preside by allowing him to do so. He has to be invited to participate, and even if he doesn't want to, every time we come to teach, we should ask his permission to be there. My whole mission has changed. The invisible walls we kept running into in Del Rio are now visible. This is something that every missionary needs to understand. Teach families by teaching them how to be families, and that includes allowing the father to fulfill his divine role to preside.

No miracles with this one yet, but they're going to come. Probably this week. Hna H and I have been asked to do a training on this for the South Zone's zone conference this week, and I'm really excited!!

Another miracle of the week. We were knocking doors in an apartment complex and had a brief conversation with a young man named A. All we did was give him a card, invite him to church, and get his number to follow up. But guess what?!? He came!! He could only stay one hour yesterday, but said he'd come for all three next week. In the evening, we had a good visit with him and learned more about his life, some wild years growing up and a big changed that happened during a period of consequences. We have another lesson tonight, and I'm really excited to teach him. And guess what? We've checked our blind spots. He lives with his sister and her kids and he has friends too. Are we going to hunt them down? Yes we are.

Some good news from Del Rio!! Hermana L and Hermana L went back to visit M (the mom of J and A that ignored us for a really long time) and she let them in! They even got a return appointment. A and S are making plans to not live together, and A's daughter A got baptized last Sunday. S is planning to be baptized at the end of the month, and asked if I could come down for the baptism. I don't think I'll be able to, but I'm so excited for him!!! 

Funny story. We were talking to two moms and their combined five kids that weren't very interested in what we had to say, but didn't tell us no straight out either. So of course, we kept going. When we were done, we asked if we could come back and set an appointment with the one mom then turned to the other and asked if she lived in the apartment above the other mom's. She told us yes without making eye contact, but then their two little boys ratted her out big time. "No, no!! We live across the street in that building, first apartment on the right!!" Don't try to lie in front of kids. It's not gonna work.

Sage advice from a pro: If you don't want people to see you in your underwear, don't answer the door without your clothes on. A lot of people haven't seemed to figure that one out yet, so I thought I'd pass it on.

Praying for you all as always. Tons of love!

Emily

July 29th, 2013

Dear Family,

Well, I'm not in Del Rio anymore, and I feel about like Dorothy when she left Kansas. Usually they tell missionaries important details about their assignments before transfer meeting, but I guess with a change of President and four new assistants, that tradition has fallen through. I have been relocated to the North Zone of San Antonio, doubled in and opening a new area with Hna. H who has been up in Austin. Here's the specs. We're working in the Monte Vista Ward which is a Spanish ward, much more solid than the branch down in Del Rio. The first night, we met our mission leader and he is awesome!! Hermano G has a goal to split the ward in a year, y vamos a sudar la gota gorda para lograrla. Because we're in a Spanish ward, we're covering the geographic area of 4 or 5 English speaking companionships, which means no more bikes. :(  They gave us a brand new Ford Fusion instead. It's a nice car.

Our area includes the San Antonio temple and most of the members in our area live right next to it, so I get to see the temple every single day. It's a great talking point during contacting, and I'm really excited to be able to go soon. My goal is to never stay away from the temple as long as I have on my mission, haha. Despite the fact that we cover such a huge geographical area, we have almost no members to work with. I think we have 8 families in our area, and they're all the leadership calling families, which ironically means they are less likely to have referrals. We inherited about 8 findable former investigator records, about that many potentials, and that's all we have to work with. So it's going to be a fun transfer rooting out all of the Spanish speakers in North San Antonio with little or nothing to start from. Being in the city is so different from Del Rio. President lives in our zone along with all four of the APs, we see other missionaries regularly and usually drive more than 35 mph. To get anywhere we have to take several freeways, and I can't believe how much that freaked me out the first day after growing up in Atlanta. In Del Rio, I knew every street in our area and could tell you something about most of the people that lived in each house. Here, each of the three English areas we cover have more streets alone than my one little corner of Del Rio did. Definitely not in Kansas anymore, but I'm excited, and it's going to be a blast!

Our new address is:

1700 Jackson Keller #3302

San Antonio, TX 78213

Dad, "My name is Jehovah, and I know the end from the beginning; therefore, my hand shall be over thee." I've been studying the past week about faith and hope, and especially in a time of transition and feeling like there's nowhere to start, I've been relying on the promise that Heavenly Father is going to sort things out as we work hard and do our best. He knows the beginning from the end and put me here for a reason.

A few notes about leaving Del Rio. I felt a lot of tender mercies as I said goodbyes this week and realized that my time in Del Rio actually did mean something. We stopped by to see our 89 year old investigator, Mr. Moravitz, who is a sweet old man going a little bit senile. Usually, it's a struggle to get him to pray during lessons, but at the end of our brief meeting, he bashfully asked if he could pray and then offered a sweet and simple prayer that as I left, I would be blessed and be able to have safety and success on my mission. He always jokes about how he can't hug the sister missionaries, but after the prayer I asked if he would do me a favor and give me a hug, and he was just about tickled to death.

We had a testimony meeting with the G family before leaving and it was so good to hear all of their testimonies of the gospel. They drove up to the church to meet us since they aren't in our area anymore, and J was so proud and duly humbled by the responsibility of taking care of the church building and his new set of keys to all the doors. I think I might have said this before, but last Sunday, he got the Melchizedek Priesthood and was able to stand in the circle for the confirmation of the Sisters' convert baptism. Also, because the temple is in my area, if they get sealed in August as planned, I'll be able to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I'm so excited for them!!

All day, we kept stopping by J's house to try to drop off a picture and give her a hug goodbye, but she wasn't home, which was abnormal. Finally, around 9:30, she gave us a call which was also abnormal because she usually goes to bed at 6. She told us that [her daughter who has MS] L had been hospitalized with pneumonia because she wasn't able to breathe at all and she had been with her there since Sunday. Of course we were concerned and asked if there was anything we could do. Jacque gave us permission to give L a Priesthood blessing the next day, but said she didn't need us to bring meals or anything. And then she said, with a hint of surprise and wonder in her voice, "you guys really do love us!" Yes J! We love you so much and Heavenly Father does too! That was my goal for her. Even if she never joins the church, J needs to know that there are people in this world who love her and that she has a Heavenly Father who loves us too. There in that last phone conversation with her, I found out that J met that goal.

When I got into bed that night, I couldn't sleep because I was worrying about all of the needs of the people we've been teaching that I wouldn't be able to help anymore after I left. I finally got out of bed and said a prayer that I'd be able to have peace and know that everyone would be ok. Eventually, I was able to fall asleep, but the rest of the answer to my prayer came when my MTC companion, Hermana L got off the Border Van to take my place. I know her, I know how hard she works, how disciplined she is and how much we prayed and worked together in the MTC to discern the needs of our investigators, and I know that the people I have come to love will be well cared for in her capable hands. Thank you Heavenly Father for tender mercies like these.

Another fun side note, Saturday morning was a stake Pioneer Day celebration in our new area, so we went to meet and mingle with the members. Right at the end of the activity, they had the Elders and then the Sisters compete against each other in a watermelon eating contest . . . and guess who smoked all the Hermanas. Yours truly. I'll send a picture.

Well, I believe that's the news from San Antonio. I loved reading about what's been going on from your end. Every sister missionary has at least 10 pounds she'd like to be rid of. Our zone leaders get up every morning at 5:30 to run at the high school track and we went with them for the first time this morning, so I'm hopeful that I'll be able to at least not put any more on this transfer. There's a little old lady in our ward that leaves all of the missionaries food in the fridge every Sunday and apparently there's always cake. This week it was pina colada cream cake. Sometimes there are consequences for being loved so much.  :)  

I love you all mucho gracias bueno amounts, as my FHE brother Jeff used to say. I pray for you bunches and think about you every time I look at your picture right next to my study desk. 

Have a marvelous week!

Em

Editorial Note

Emily's younger brother Alan received his mission call to serve for 24 months in the Texas Fort Worth Mission speaking Spanish.  He actually leaves Sept 18th, not the 11th, and is going to the Missionary Training Center in Mexico City. He sent an email to Emily with the announcement but did not have a complete address, hence the confusion.

Oh That I were an Angel

Dear Family,

Congratulations Alan!!! I'm assuming from what I've deduced of Mom's and Dad's letters that you're going to the Texas Fort Worth mission, Spanish speaking via the Mexico MTC, leaving September 11th? I don't know if the email was never written, never sent or misdirected, but I didn't actually get it.  Congrats all the same! That's so exciting! I did forget to include my guess in my last email, so you'll have to trust me that I'm being honest. I guessed Texas for state side and Mexico for foreign!! haha. I've been working on my discernment skills (make way for the lightning!!)  ;)  If I got any of the details wrong, I'd love to have them corrected. I'm so excited you're coming to Texas! I actually had a dream this week after thinking right before bed "what if Alan got called to San Antonio?" that we were in the same mission and I saw you at a mission meeting. You had grown to be 6'4" and when I ran up to give you a hug, I felt like a midget. Maybe it's symbolic for spiritual growth. :) You're going to be such a good missionary. 

Dad, Happy Father's Day!! I realized yesterday that this year is the second of three Father's Days that I wasn't able to/won't be able to call home. The upside is, right after the next one, I'll basically be able to tell you in person. In our Sacrament meeting yesterday, Sister Forsyth spoke about Fathers and she asked a question that made me think. "Why did we need to leave Heavenly Father's presence in order to learn and grow?" She compared it to leaving home and learning how to appreciate your parents more. So true!! Both points. One thing that I am increasingly grateful for every day of my mission is my wonderful, Priesthood holding, Christ exemplifying Dad. I can't even begin to express how many scummy men I have met on my mission, and how downright floored I am to be the recipient of such a blessing as such a Dad. Thank you so much for being who you are and always being an example, and always being my Dad. I love you. I also know that Heavenly Father loves each of us and is mindful of us. He did send us to earth to grow and I am increasingly amazed to realize more and more how perfectly he knows us and teaches us. Life is hard, but I'm so grateful to be here, because it's so worth it.

I enjoyed hearing about all of the yard work changes this week. I vote for a cookout pad beneath the deck. I think that sounds like a lot of fun!! I can relate to the bug bites too. Every night we go out (which is every night) we come back in with a few new red, bumpy, itchy battle wounds. I've got a massive bite from something or other on my wrist right beneath my watch strap that bled when I first got it and turned into a super itchy, semi-purple goose egg. It's looking like it's getting better though, so I'm not going to worry about it too much.

Congrats on the new RS presidency and surviving Father's Day. It's so fun to hear about the Sister Missionaries in your area as well. We've talked about this a couple of times this week, one of the ways going on a mission changes you, is you understand the missionaries, because you literally walk several thousand miles in their shoes, haha. All of those years the missionaries would come over and we would ask them how their day had gone and they would give a vague, nondescript answer, I now know exactly what they were thinking and could have said if they had wanted to. I feel for Sister B. She'll be great. Training is hard at first, but it's not really as bad as we freak ourselves out to thinking it's going to be.

I'll start with the sad news first and then move on to the happier stuff. We got dropped by I this week. We had an appointment set up with her for 6 and even had a member there to teach with us. When we got to her house, she was on her way out to dinner. After asking if we could reschedule for a bit later, she told us she had decided that she wanted to stick with her church and didn't want to read the Book of Mormon any more. We gave each other hugs and said goodbye, and that was that. Ouch!! That was a heart breaking moment. I love that woman so much, and I know that the answers to questions she has had for years and YEARS are contained in the Book of Mormon. And her questions aren't just gee whiz kinds of things, they are questions of the soul. It just killed me to have that moment of hugs and goodbye. When that happens, you just have to turn your investigator over to Heavenly Father and trust that he really does know what's best for them, and in their own time and His, it'll work out. I may never see her again, but I sure hope she'll be ready someday, and I'll give her a big hug when I see her in Heaven. 

An RCLA named K is really struggling with the gospel right now, and I'm crying for her as well. She has always struggled with her marriage and was hopeful that when she joined the church, it would help things to improve. Unfortunately, J likes to blame her participation in the church for their problems, and so whenever she goes or we come to visit, problems flare up. Her faith is really wavering, and it's so hard to know how to tell her that she has to keep the commandments in order to receive the guidance that she needs when all she sees is that keeping the commandments cause problems. She hasn't been to church in a month, even though she knows it's true, and without the Sacrament to apply the Atonement and invite the spirit, she's really having a rough time. So pray for K.

We had a great lesson this week with J. We taught her and L the plan of salvation, and her biggest problem with it, is that it's too good to be true. J has had a hard life and her attitude, while surprisingly not bitter, is just very realist. "Life's tough and then you die." To her, the idea that there's a loving Heavenly Father, that we lived with him before we came to earth, that the Atonement is real and allows us to return to live with him again is "too much of a fairy tale." She doesn't think it has any grounding in "the real world." However, she did feel the spirit as we were teaching her, and I'm having faith that eventually, it's going to sink in. That lesson also made me realize once again how blessed we are to know about Heavenly Father's plan for us. It truly is a beautiful, loving and merciful plan, and I am so grateful to be a part of it. I'm so grateful for the Restoration of the gospel that brought the knowledge of that plan back to full light. I'm grateful for the Atonement that makes it possible.

Dad, I really loved your thought of the week (surprise, surprise, I always do.) Poor Sister L is so sick of hearing how much I love the commandments, but I really do. I love them. People are always trying to find loopholes to living the commandments, but really, commandments are the loophole. They allow the Atonement of Jesus Christ to be applied in our lives which is the great loophole to avoiding the consequences of eternal laws that we can fulfill by ourselves. I also really loved your point about the increased maturity of Nephi's thoughts and about the difference between being in the MTC and in the field. The MTC does fill you with a lot of unrealistic expectations, and I understand why. But every missionary struggles when they get to the field with trying to decide if they're really doing enough or if the reason they're not seeing success is because their faith is wavering. I know that Heavenly Father has provided a way for all of his children to receive exaltation if they choose it. I am part of that plan, but all I can do is keep the commandments and invite others to do the same. That's all there is too it. Sometimes, it doesn't work out the way you think it will in the MTC, but that's ok, because it's Heavenly Father's perfect plan, and not the faulty one I would choose if I were in charge. "Oh that I were an angel! But I do sin in my wish, for I ought to be contented to the things which God has allotted me." (something like that.)

I love you all so much. We see miracles every day, even when they're just little ones. For example, an investigator we passed over to the Elders after a lot of non success finally came back to church this week. I was teaching gospel principles this week, and since he was the only investigator there, I was able to completely revamp the lesson we planned and tailor it specifically to his needs. Blessings. We were knocking yesterday and found a woman named L who was baptized when she was 13 and always wanted to be a missionary, but got married to a man that didn't like the church and hasn't been since then. I'm sure she's not on anyone's records and has been MIA for many many years. We're going to see her tomorrow morning. Blessings. Stuff like that. Little things that happen all the time that just let you know that Heavenly Father is mindful. He loves us and he has a plan for us.

Keep up the good work everyone! I love you all so much!!!

Emily